A good friend of mine listened to my story. She explained that what I thought was dead, maybe a fear or hidden thought, was really sleeping and was now awakening. She found a reference in a book about animal totems, Animal Speaks, and sent me the info in an email.
The Otter: joy, playfulness, and sharing
Cycle of power: spring and summer
Otters awaken curiosity. They remind us that everything is interesting if we look at it from the right angle. They are playful and seem to have fun at what they are doing. Otters always have their homes close to the water. They usually have a large home territory around and in the water, and they usually mark their homes with a scent. Otters remind us to keep the inner child alive or to give birth to it. They remind us that life can be fun if we approach it with the right attitude. Otters are seldom seen alone. The adult otter has practically no natural enemies. They protect their young very well. They are agile and fast in the water, with the ability to out swim fish. Sometimes otters show up to help awaken the primal mothering energies and responsibilities. It can indicate a need to set up your boundaries within the home and define your feminine role.
If otter has surfaced in your life, it may be time to find some play time. Involve yourself in some creative activity. Do you need to awaken your inner child. Treat yourself to something special.
This has really intrigued and excited me. In many ways, the otter seems to reflect me and my thoughts, feelings and actions. I created a sketch and a watercolor painting of an otter.